Women’s Life Stages and Easing the Transitions Between Them
By Tammy Frank + Cara Riendeau
Clinical Counsellors | Sept 25, 2023
We all experience life transitions. They may correlate with our age and stage of life, like perimenopause when we go through significant biological changes, or with milestones - like entering adulthood, forming relationships, motherhood, divorce, empty nesting, retirement, or loss.
There’s no ‘normal’ reaction to these moments in time. You may experience positive emotions and find joy in your newfound freedom or the opportunity to reimagine your life and who you want to be. On the other hand, you may find yourself feeling lost, confused, or scared of what comes next.
Major common life transitions may even lead to depression or anxiety, especially if they are sudden and unanticipated. If you are experiencing depression or anxiety you can benefit from seeing a mental health professional.
But what about the simple blues? The baby blues are a common phenomenon immediately after giving birth to a child (a pretty big transition!). For some women it’s more than the blues and they experience postpartum depression or anxiety. During perimenopause many women report feelings of irritability, difficulty concentrating, lack of energy, and moodiness. Ageism and recognition of our own mortality can also play a factor in how we handle transitions with each trip we make around the sun. Things that once gave us joy may not provide the same kind of fulfillment, and many women struggle to find meaning in their lives when they no longer have parenting duties, a spouse to care for, or a job to go to every day.
Medical treatments like hormone therapy and supplements can help, but so can some lifestyle tweaks and talking to someone who understands, who can guide you through those transitions. Working with a counselor can help a woman transitioning through life stages rediscover her core values and purpose, rebuild her self-esteem, and reshape how she relates to the world and to others to regain fulfillment in her life.
For anyone currently experiencing a life transition or major change, there are some strategies you can employ on your own to help navigate any stage of your life.
Be Gentle With Yourself: If you’ve always been a problem-solver, it can be frustrating when solutions aren’t immediately apparent or when your mood doesn’t bounce back the way it used to. Try to practice patience and know that some transitions are more challenging than others. Trust that you will find yourself again, and give yourself the grace and space to adapt to new realities.
Prepare When Possible: If you have a heads up that change is coming, get the i’s dotted and t’s crossed in advance if you can. People who are separated and possibly moving towards divorce can tour potential new homes, meet with a financial advisor, and speak with a lawyer about their legal options. Caregivers for older adults can make a care plan and speak to their loved one about estate planning and final wishes. Doing these things in advance can give you a roadmap for when the real change begins, and alleviate some of those future stressors.
Small Goals and Reasonable Expectations: Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your life after milestone changes won’t be either. Trying to manage your expectations and allow for stress and frustration to be a part of the process can be helpful. By setting small, easily attainable goals, we give ourselves the satisfaction of taking a step forward on the way to where we want to ultimately go.
Maintain Connection: It’s a fundamental biological fact: humans need other humans. Social connections help regulate emotions and can even lower anxiety and depression while boosting our self-esteem. Talk to the people you trust or find other women in a similar stage of life to compare notes and support each other through the transition.
The bottom line is that some transitions are more challenging than others, and no one reacts exactly the same to those transitions. If you find yourself feeling a high degree of stress or anxiety, or simply want a little help in developing new coping skills, clinical counseling might be right for you.
We are thrilled that Holistic Physiotherapy & Wellness has added clinical counseling to their list of wellness services. We offer a safe space to navigate all life’s changes and we can’t wait to meet you!
Tammy Frank +
Cara Riendeau
Clinical Counsellors