Managing Stress
Written by Danielle Bararuk, PT
Managing stress in my life has become top of my priority list ever since going through a diagnosis and surgery for a frontal lobe brain tumor. I believe it has been one of the things that has truly helped me get back to my optimal health and happiness. Stress in life is inevitable, but realizing how to manage your stress and prevent burn out is essential to thriving verses just surviving. Everyone has different things that they find stressful. For me, I find the busier I am with my three kids, all in their own activities, and the less time I have for myself at the end of the day is one thing that makes me more stressed. When I do not have time for my own selfcare, I find myself stressed and burnt out. But I also realized that the things that keep me so busy and take time from my day are also things that bring me happiness. It is the combination of the two that is unmanageable. Three kids all in their own activities, my husband and I both working, president of the parent council at school, volunteering for our kids sports teams, volunteering at the school, planning meals, buying the groceries, making the meals, driving the kids to and from their activities, packing lunches, unpacking lunches, the dishes, the laundry, the other household chores, etc. all take time. It all gets to be a lot and unmanageable when I do not take the time for me. By the end of a busy day, I found myself burnt out. Even if I had the time do the things I wanted at the end of the day, I was too tired to do them. I had an empty cup. So I realized I needed to change that.
“In order to carry a positive action, we must develop here a positive vision”
I decided I needed to take back my mornings for “me time”. This was a time I felt my best and refreshed. But first I needed to make sure I has getting enough sleep. So, I started by going to bed 15 mins earlier, then 30 mins and so on, until I felt more rested. I was then able to get up earlier in the morning before anyone else. Not to start going through my “to do” list of chores. But to do things that filled my cup first. Each day I choose something different. Some days I exercises, read, other days I listen to my favorite podcast or music, or catch up on social media. But every day, I enjoy my cup of coffee and read inspirational quotes or meditate in my front window, and set my intentions for the day. I start my day with positivity and choose to be grateful and happy. My cup is full, I am calm and rested, and I am ready for whatever the day brings.
“One small positive thought in the morning can change our whole day”
I also watch and listen closely to my body now for what “things” bring me stress and anxiety. I recognize that these are just “things” now. Most of the time it is an unclean kitchen, piles of laundry, unorganized closets, the rush of getting from work to school to pick up the kids, and get them fed and off to their activity that cause me stress. I am good at recognizing that overwhelming feeling. I try to break every big task down into micro steps so I feel accomplished throughout the task, instead of feeling stress or overwhelmed by it. For example, when coming home to a house where the entrance is filled with shoes, back packs. The kitchen is filled with morning dishes. Bathrooms have laundry on the floor and toothpaste on the counters. I take a moment to breathe, and I say to myself, this will not overwhelm me. I then practice gratitude. I say to myself something I am grateful for in that moment. Whether it be, that I am in my nice warm home now, or have time to be with my kids. This changes my mindset to be positive again. Then I start with micro tasks. One thing at a time. And then recognize what I have accomplished. It is really amazing how changing your mindset can change your stress level. Then before bed, I look at what I have completed or accomplished in the day rather than what was left undone.
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll ALWAYS have more”
This isn’t to say that all days are perfect, calm, and positive for me. I still have bad days, get overwhelmed with stress at times. I am grateful that I am now able to look it this as “just a day”. I always start a new day on a positive note and not let yesterday affect what a positive day TODAY can be.
“Life changes very quickly, in a very POSITIVE way, if you let it”
Danielle Bararuk
Physiotherapist
Pelvic Health Therapist
