Nervous System Safety for New Moms
By Kim Deschamps
MPT, BKin, PYT, BDN | April 3, 2023
It’s no secret that routines and rituals are restorative. Our nervous system, by design, responds favourably to the familiar. When we know what to expect, we feel safe. It’s the unexpected things in life that can cause confusion and indecision, leading to stress and a nervous system in a state of unrest. Even the simplest of routines performed with regularity can create a sense of surety and safety.
But what happens when you bring a baby into your home? Few things are more unpredictable than a newborn, from the one-of-a-kind way they each enter the world to your emotions, which can range from feeling overjoyed to overwhelmed and everything in between. On top of that is a huge shift in both our hormones and our lifestyle, and it becomes clear very quickly why new moms need to be gentle with themselves.
New moms are known to be at greater risk for insomnia, fatigue, anxiety, depression, and postpartum mood disorders, affecting 1 in 8 mothers. A baby’s sleep schedule can be unpredictable, as can their feeding times throughout the day. But there are ways to build in routine to help your nervous system find the safe feeling it craves.
It’s important too, because when your nervous system is in a healthy and relaxed state, it becomes easier to bond with your baby, find joy in motherhood, and connect with the circle of people around you who want to help.
You probably won’t be able to go out for a long run on Saturday morning, spend hours at brunch with friends, or binge-watch an entire season of Ted Lasso without interruption like you could in your pre-baby days. That time will come again, but in the meantime, you can work on creating new routines that fit into this new life you’re leading and help you find a peaceful place.
Your brain wants predictable activities to help your ever-vigilant nervous system relax – so give yourself this gift. It might seem daunting to commit to anything in the early days after giving birth, so start small and go easy on yourself.
Start by looking at the rhythm of your day. When do people in the house typically wake up, go to work, go to sleep? Take advantage of times when your partner, friend, or family member can mind the baby so you can get your routine on – or find routines that work for both you and your infant – in whatever form that is.
Mornings: For some people, a morning shower is a non-negotiable. Hand the baby off to your partner before they leave for the day and bring some rituals into the bathroom with you. Use aromatherapy and choose scented soaps that make you want to take long, slow, deep breaths. You can even count them, committing to 5 deep breaths before you get into the shower and 5 more when you get out. Use your favourite lotion to give yourself a brief massage.Other things you can do in the morning is your meditation or yoga, and they don’t have to be long. Just 5 or 10 minutes each day can give you back your sense of self.
Afternoons: Maybe it’s that second cup of coffee with whipped cream on top to make it feel special. Maybe this is the time of day when the baby goes in a stroller and the two of you take a walk around the neighbourhood. Fresh air is one of the world’s most underrated and under-prescribed medicines.
Evening: Even if you’re struggling to get your baby on a regular sleep schedule, you can work nighttime routines into your own settling down at the end of the day. We talked about meditation and yoga already, which can also be part of your evening. A cup of herbal tea, fifteen minutes reading a good book, snuggling with your partner.
To be clear, these routines and rituals shouldn’t feel like a revolution. With a new family member in the home, there’s been enough of a revolution as it is! Instead, look for seamless ways to integrate things that make you feel whole and healthy into this new crazy ride you’re on.
It’s so important that your needs don’t get drowned out by the needs of your newborn. Your wellness is equally important, and a well mama means a happy baby.
And for any new mamas who are struggling out there, please call us right away. Our team of holistic women’s healthcare providers are on your side, in your circle of care, and ready to help.
Kim Deschamps
MPT, BKin, PYT, BDN