Connection for The Heart and Soul
By Cara Riendeau
Clinical Counsellor
Dec 24, 2023
We’ve been focused this month on how certain things slow down in winter and ways in which we can use that for restorative purposes. But at the height of the holiday season, in the midst of cooking, cleaning, and shopping, you may feel an even greater need for rest and recovery than usual.
There’s a type of rest we haven't delved into yet: Rest + Connection. Connection can mean many things - connection to nature, to community, to our faith and spiritual practices - and all of these are important. However, I’m specifically talking today about social connection and connection to self.
Especially when we’re feeling depleted, it’s critical to connect to ourselves. If we aren’t feeling grounded in who we are, what we want, and how we feel, it can be challenging to connect with others and create the life we want to live.
Connecting to self helps increase your resilience and your ability to manage stress while allowing you to tap into your feelings. It doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen or we won’t experience negative emotions, but it does add a layer of self-reflection that can be both protective and instructive.
Practising mindfulness is really the key to connecting to yourself. By being present in the moment, you can pay attention to how your body feels and where you hold your tension. You can name the feelings you are experiencing, which gives you the power to process them in healthy ways. You can practise self-acceptance by giving yourself grace and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgement and without holding onto them.
It’s also healthy to spend a little quality time with yourself. This can be as simple as a quiet walk in the park or as elaborate as taking yourself out on a date to dinner and a movie. The best part? You get to choose the restaurant and you don’t have to compromise on the film you want to see! It can be an empowering experience to treat yourself well and know that you can enjoy time alone.
None of this diminishes our need for social connection, however. Spending time with loved ones is critical to our emotional wellness. Social isolation and loneliness are known to have a profound effect on physical and mental health, especially as we age. It behoves us to maintain strong connections with others throughout our lives.
Sometimes called social rest, we’re talking about the positivity that radiates from a coffee date with a close friend or a long walk with a beloved family member. When we spend time with people who know us, love us, and accept us, an undeniable warmth hums through our bodies. Authentic relationships are restorative drivers of joy and can lift us up even in our darkest days.
But what do you do when those social connections are few and far between? Perhaps you’ve recently relocated to a new town or left a relationship that you relied on for most of your interpersonal interactions. Community and social connection is no less important, but you may have to be more intentional about seeking it out.
The good news is that there are communities that will embrace you. It might just take some time and effort to get started. Friendships are built on shared interests. By pursuing interests and passions, you can connect with others and build on those commonalities. Running groups, book clubs, churches, and synagogues are all wonderful places for meeting others.
You also have an entire community here at Holistic Physiotherapy & Wellness. As a clinical counsellor, I help clients connect to themselves and with others on a daily basis. Women Rise Together, our free Women’s Wellness Community, brings women together who want to raise the bar in their health and wellness, another way to connect with like-minded people.
As you move through the winter, be sure to add rest + connection to your to-do list. Make sure you’re checking in with both yourself and with the people you care about. Chances are, they need a good long talk over a cup of tea and a piece of pie as much as you do!
Cara Riendeau
Clinical Counsellor